Don’t Mess With My Dog

“Promise me, Gladys…Promise you will take care of Cocoa after I’m gone.”

The elderly woman coughed several times into a crumpled tissue. Her tired, blue eyes, swollen from bouts of insomnia and weeping, peered at her sister. She worried about her Cocoa and what was to become of her precious dog.

“Gertrude, you are my only sister. I’ll do anything for you. You know I’ll be good to Cocoa. But let’s not think about that right now. You’re getting yourself all worked up. You are going to be fine. You’ll be back home in no time at all. Even the doctors said so,” Gladys reassured.

“I’m not so sure,” Gertrude replied, gazing at the hospital ceiling. “I could go at any time.”

“Stop saying that! You’ve been saying that all your life. You were five years old, and you were lamenting ‘I could go at any time’. You have many years left, Gertrude.”

“Did you feed my Cocoa today?” Gertrude asked.

“Yes,” replied Gladys.

“Did you give him clean water?”

“Yes.”

“Did you put him outside to pee-pee?”

“Gertrude, I’ve been going over to your place since you were admitted to the hospital. Stop worrying about that dog! He’s in good hands.”

“I’ll always worry about my dear little Cocoa. I’ll always be there watching out for him, just like he has always protected his Mommy,” Gertrude said.

“First of all, he’s not ‘little’. He’s a twenty-pound Cocker Spaniel who eats like a horse,” Gladys claimed.

“Sometimes I think you worry more about Cocoa than you do me…or even yourself.”

“I can’t help it. He’s always been good to me, ever since I adopted him from that sleazy shelter,”

Gertrude stated. “He has saved my life more than once- I’ll tell you that! You don’t know Cocoa like I know Cocoa.”

“If you knew Cocoa, like I know Cocoa…, oh, oh, oh what a dog!” Gladys sang. “Remember that old song?”

“Stop teasing me, Gladys! Cocoa is like the son I never had,” Gertrude cried.

“Now you are being ridiculous!” Gladys firmly stated.

“Look who’s talking! You and your Princess Penelope! Up on her throne all day! So pink and pampered!”

“It’s not a throne- it’s her perch. After I make our bed in the morning, my little baby nestles on top of the

pillows, right where we sleep every night,” said Gladys.

“Just like I said, a pampered pooch!” said Gertrude in disgust.

“Cocoa, Cocoa, Cocoa…that’s all I hear about.” Gladys threw her hands up in the air. “Who runs to the grocery store for you every week?”

“You do,” conceded Gertrude. “But I’m sure Cocoa would if only he could drive.”

“And who found you on the floor last Tuesday and called an ambulance?”

“You did. But I’m sure if Cocoa had thumbs, he would’ve dialed 911. It’s only three numbers.”

” You are the only person in the world who still uses a landline in their house,” Gladys said.

Gladys stood up to leave and kissed her sister on the cheek. “I’ll let you get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“If I’m still here,” Gertrude said, giving her sister a stern stare.

“Now what?” Gladys asked.

“Next time I won’t miss,” her sister said, cryptically.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Gladys asked.

“You’ll find out. Say hello to Cocoa for me. Tell him that Mommy will be watching over him. Oh, and make sure he always has his toys with him, especially his squeaky pizza.”

“Goodbye, Gertrude…”

Gladys quickly scampered down the hall, getting on the elevator as fast as she could, grumbling under her breath “Damn Cocoa.”

********

Gladys found the key underneath Gertrude’s mat. She entered the house, calling for Cocoa. “Where are you?… Cocoa? “

That’s strange. The dog was usually at the door, greeting her with slobber whenever she visited. Where is he? Hope he didn’t croak. Wouldn’t that be a shame!

Suddenly, like a thundering herd, a flash of chocolate brown canine tore down the hallway. Cocoa had a running start, and he took a flying leap onto Glady’s chest, almost knocking her over.

“Cocoa, dear Lord!” she gasped, staggering.

Just then her phone rang.

At the other end, she heard the news she never thought she would hear. “Sorry to inform you that your sister just passed away…Cardiac arrest… She died peacefully.”It was the call she had dreaded for so long. This time Gertrude had finally been right.

Rest in peace, dear Gertrude.

Now it was time to reassess her plans.

“Where’s your leash, Cocoa? You’re coming with me,” Gladys said. “Let’s find your squeaky pizza…”

********

Surprisingly, Cocoa adjusted to his new surroundings pretty quickly. Far from being depressed, he wasexuberant. He started by paying Princess Penelope a surprise visit. Upon seeing her frantic, over- bearing “cousin,” Princess Penelope gave a squeal and scampered off her perch, Cocoa sprinting after her. They proceeded to race through the house several times, setting a blistering pace up and down the stairs, dust flying everywhere. All the while, Gladys screamed “Stop!”

Bad move, Cocoa. The poor dog was banished to the shed until after Gertrude’s funeral.

That night, while Princess Penelope rested comfortably on her precious perch, Cocoa watched a summer thunderstorm from the safety of the shed. It wasn’t the cozy confines of Princess Penelope’s bedroom, but with water bowl, food and blankets, along with the squeaky pizza nearby, it wasn’t a bad temporary set-up, at least until he was back in Princess Penelope’s good graces.

Little did Cocoa know, but his fate already had been decided.

“We can’t have this. I don’t care what I promised Gertrude. That dog is going back to the shelter in the morning,” Gladys declared harshly.

********

The summer storms cleared, and the night turned pitch- black. As the clock chimed three a.m., Gladys was snoring with Princess Penelope in her usual spot, snoring along beside her, their snoring in a synchronized, steady rhythm.

Suddenly, Cocoa lifted his head from the shed floor and stared at the roof. He started barking.

Something was amiss.

At first, Gladys thought she was dreaming and half-heartedly yelled “Shut up, Cocoa!” before drifting back to sleep. Meanwhile, Cocoa had wiggled out of his leashed collar and sprinted for the backdoor.

Little Princess Penelope’s doggy door would prove to be a major challenge to squeeze through for the well-fed Cocoa. But in somewhat of a miracle, he didn’t get wedged. Cocoa galloped up the stairs, proceeding to jump on the bed- and Glady’s feet- with a single bound.

“WHAT!!???” she yelled, sitting up in the dark. “Cocoa, what are you doing here? How did you get out of the shed?”

Cocoa greeted her with loud barking- right in her face.“You’re going back right….”

Before she could finish her declaration, an explosion rocked the bedroom!

“WHAT!!???” she cried again, even louder. She heard Princess Penelope let out a resounding “Yelp!”

Something was falling on her head, showering the bedroom with particles of plaster. A sudden, intense smell of smoke filled the bedroom.

Gladys frantically grabbed her cell phone and managed to dial 911. She sat petrified in the dark, afraid to move an inch, as a trembling Princess Penelope scrambled into her arms, while Cocoa continued his incessant barking.

Within minutes the local police and a fire truck arrived. They broke open the front door and ran upstairs.

Gladys waited as the beams of their flashlights crept closer and closer down the hall.

“Hello? Mrs. Crabtree are you ok?” asked one of the officers.

“I’m frightened! What happened?” she cried.

What a scene! Gladys, sitting up in bed, wearing pajamas, clutching a whimpering, trembling white

Yorkie in her arms, while a porky Cocker Spaniel barked it’s head off at the foot of the bed.

There, laying on the floral pillowcase, only inches from where they had laid their heads, was a three-pound piece of smoky charcoal-colored rock!

The cops pointed their flashlights to the ceiling where they could see the stars twinkling through the massive hole that was now in the roof. Dust and specks of plaster continued to fall intermittently.

“There’s your culprit,” one of the officers said, “a METEOR.”

“I’m no scientist,” said the other, “but it sure looks like a meteor to me!”

Gladys looked behind her and gasped. Princess Penelope smelled the meteor in disgust. How dare it infringe on her perch!

“Whatever woke you up saved your life!” the first officer remarked. “I wouldn’t want to get hit in the head by that hunk of rock!”

“Imagine that thing, hurdling through outer space, only to end up here of all places, only three inches from your skull!” the other cop said. “Like a message from heaven!”

Cocoa sat at the end of the bed, tongue out, as proud as he can be as several more firefighters entered the room.

********

Sure enough, the scientists at the university deemed the rock a meteorite. They estimated it whizzed through the earth’s atmosphere at upwards of 20,000 miles-per-hour. When it landed, crashing through Gladys’ roof, it was slowing down to a mere 400 MPH. It was a wonder it hadn’t burned upon entry. In fact, only 5% of meteors do not disintegrate into the Earth’s atmosphere. What were the odds it wouldland where it did, only inches from Princess Penelope and Gladys? It seemed like destiny, like it was meant to crash where it did.

Gladys often recalled her sister’s prophetic words: “Next time I won’t miss.” She heeded the warning and acted accordingly.

Perhaps most miraculous of all, the talk of the shelter disappeared. There was no more sleeping in the shed for Cocoa. The perch welcomed another guest the very next night. In fact, Cocoa had earned the prime spot on the pillow, while poor Princess Penelope whimpered, relegated to the foot of the bed.